The Hardest (and Most Important) Thing: Advocating for Yourself When You’re Dealing With Health Stuff

There are some seasons of life where just existing feels like a full-time job.

Living with chronic symptoms, unexplained pain, autoimmune flares, or feeling like your body is betraying you — it’s isolating, frustrating, exhausting.

What makes it harder is having to advocate for yourself through all of it.I wish I could tell you it’s always going to be easy. I can’t.

But I can share what I’ve learned from walking through it, and how I keep showing up for myself when it feels like nobody else gets it.

You know your body better than anyone

There were so many times I doubted myself in doctors’ offices. Was I overreacting? Was it really that bad? Should I just wait it out?

I’ve learned the hard way that you are allowed to trust yourself.

You are allowed to push for more tests, second opinions, referrals.

You are allowed to say: “Something still feels off.”

Keep a record (and don’t be afraid to bring it)

I started documenting everything.

Symptoms.

Dates.

Photos.

Questions I wanted to ask.

It helped me stay grounded when I felt brushed off or dismissed.Having notes turned emotions into facts, and facts are harder to ignore.

You can be “nice” and still advocate fiercely

This was one of the hardest lessons for me.

You don’t have to be rude or aggressive. You can speak softly and still not back down.

I literally almost cried on the phone last month because someone kept completely dismissing everything I’ve been dealing with: my flare-ups, chronic symptoms, autoimmune struggles, and told me it was just asthma. She kept cutting me off and ignoring everything else.

It was one of those moments where I had to take a deep breath and remind myself: my lived experience matters. I knew it wasn’t just asthma. I knew I had the right to keep asking for help.

I’ve learned to say:

• “I understand, but I’m still concerned.”

• “Can we explore this a little further?”

• “I’m not comfortable waiting any longer.”

Soft strength. It’s a thing.

Your feelings are valid, even when there are no answers

One of the hardest parts of health journeys is the “in-between.”

The limbo of normal test results when you still feel horrible.I used to beat myself up for feeling so emotional about it. Now I know:You are allowed to grieve the body you used to have.

You are allowed to feel angry, scared, numb, or tired.

You are allowed to be a whole person while you’re figuring it out.

You deserve to feel heard

You deserve a doctor who listens. A care team that cares. Friends who check in even when you say “I’m fine.”If you haven’t found those people yet, keep looking.

You are not difficult. You are not dramatic. You are not “too much.”You are a person who deserves answers and care.

Final Thought.

I wish I could give you a step-by-step on how to “fix” it. I can’t.

All I can say is: keep showing up for yourself. Keep advocating. Keep believing your body when it whispers.

You are not alone in this. You’re doing better than you think. 💌